Hot news about the Antichrist

  It may never have occurred to you that the antichrist of the book of revelation is actually Prince Charles. I hadn't realised it myself until I stumbled on this , following the links from an accountant's page in Tennessee. Antichrist and a cup of tea, the book which proves this fact - and much else - has been produced by Tim Cohen, a software engineer in Colorado, who has put up a web site to advertise it. The programming is impressive: the first page of each chapter is displayed, as are the chapter headings which include "How the AntiChrist will use the United Nations to control the world"; "Who has requested to be King of Europe"; and "whose powers, throne, and 'great authority' literally derive from the 'Red Dragon' or Satan." But the first page of every chapter is mostly taken up with long biblical quotations and the second and subsequent pages are largely overprinted with buttons that say "Buy this book"

Clever, huh! But not half as clever as the British Royal family who have cunningly concealed from almost everyone the extent of their vast wealth and importance.

Tim Cohen includes on his site his home phone number, and I rang him to find out exactly why he believes what he does. It was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made with a telephone: after about 20 minutes of decreasing reality we had reached the point where he revealed to me that the order of the Garter was the secret mechanism through which the British monarchy had run the world since 1349.

It was founded, he said, as a covert means of ruling France. But there was nothing covert about it! I suddenly shrieked, like a man awakening from a nightmare. We were in the middle of the Hundred Years War! Our plans for running France were quite overt!

I must have sounded quite mad.

He started patiently again. The Order of the Garter was founded as a means of covertly running France. He knew that, even if I couldn't see it yet. I explained that I really didn't see the point of running up my phone bill any longer and hung up, perhaps a little rudely. Thirty seconds later, the phone rang. It was Tim, in Colorado. "Now we're on my tab," he said, and settled down to explain what I had missed.

"The monarch is actually the most powerful man on the planet and the order of the Garter is the control mechanism for the New World Order.

I asked how he could know that, living in Colorado, when it had escaped the notice of everyone who lived here for centuries. "Oh, the populace is pretty much kept in the dark." Then he went on to explain how Prince Charles was going to become King of Europe, and, soon, King of Israel after it was admitted to the British Commonwealth.

"This is the first and only book to offer hard evidence of who is the Antichrist - without being sensationalistic - evidence that can be tested against the Bible. "

He also, though he is too modest to say this, offers sound reasons to disqualify other popular candidates for antichrist, among them Adolf Hitler, Joe Stalin, George Bush, and Pope John Paul II.

His book comes with endorsements from the president of Christian Destiny Inc. (coincidentally the author of Seven men who rule the world from beyond the grave) and the founder of Hope for the World, who is also the author of The demonic roots of globalism.

Perhaps I should draw vast conclusions about the Internet from this, but I can't see any. This style of paranoid Christianity was around long before the Net: one work of prophecy, esteemed by president Reagan, sold 17m copies in paperback in the 1970s and Tim Cohen on the phone is far more overwhelming than Tim Cohen on the net.

Still, his style of reasoning will be familiar to anyone who has ever tried to make a computer do something it doesn't want to do. Perhaps this is because computers are naturally paranoid; but have you considered the possibility that there is a huge conspiracy of paranoid programmers who get to them before the rest of us can? There is almost certainly something in Revelation about this.

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